Who Is Teaching My Children???

*Reposted from April, 2010*

Unintentionally, I've taken a small sabbatical from blogging. It has felt like college days all over again...remembering that feeling of back-to-back exams during finals week, and just believing that "if I can get through this week..." I can return to some normalcy.

But guess what? I did make it through last week, and "normalcy" doesn't exist. After having my family up for Easter, then preparing for my sister's baby shower last week, I am scrambling to get caught up (will that ever happen???) with the house, paperwork, laundry, decluttering, spring cleaning, changing clothes from winter season to spring...piles and piles and PiLeS of clothes. Progress can be a bit elusive, but there is some good news... giant stacks of clothing are leaving this house and never coming back!

 ...the farm is busier than ever now that nine little Wilber's have arrived. Some one of us will soon have pictures up of their arrival, and the three little girls right in the middle of the hog pen taking charge and making friends.

Remember the snake habitat? This was the day of capture, and brave little Natalie in charge of transport. For those animal rights people out there, yes, they were set free after a delightful time of education into the life of humans. We don't do much with formal "lab" studies in our science time (OK, None), so I free myself of guilt and instead embrace the hands on approach! My children are naturally curious and don't seem to be afraid of spiders, snakes, placentas...you name it, they are willing to try it! But again, progress can be difficult to measure...and stepping outside the "norm" sometimes requires our schedule to be flexible...and flexible can sometimes make us uncomfortable...

Little Running Squash is LoViNg the outdoors and wants to keep up with the others. I'm not teaching her a foreign language, she doesn't know her alphabet, and she isn't a fan of vegetables, but she's happy, energetic, and loves her family. She can put toys away, pet a hog, and sing any song you sing, so why get bogged down in early pre-school education? :)

I'm still trying to get a weekly menu together (don't give up on me, Renee), rooms remain slightly unorganized, I'm not sure if my dining room will ever get painted, my sewing pile is taller than me, I haven't been able to do that "early to rise" part of life yet, and our daily schedule needs a major overhaul, BUT,

"All my children shall be taught by the Lord,

And great shall be the peace of my children.

In righteousness I shall be established;

I shall be far from oppression, for I shall not fear;

And from terror, for it shall not come near me."
Isaiah 54:13-14

So, dear friends, if any of you are feeling just slightly behind in your homeschooling due to being a momma of many, or perhaps you have the amazing miracle of life in your womb or in your arms, or illness has you down, maybe your domestic responsibilities threaten to overwhelm, or you are facing personal or financial loss, some may be burdened by moral failure...this is my comfort:

...That no matter how weak and incapable I am feeling, my children are ultimately being taught by the Lord. Could there ever be a better teacher??? Even at my best, I will always choose to defer to HIS educational plan, knowing that it is far superior to anything I could accomplish. Remember that He gave us these precious children, and He loves them dearly! He won't abandon us as we fulfill our responsibilities!

How about resting in this promise? **sigh of relief**

Enjoy your week~

Kathy

Thank You...

This is a very long overdue "thank you" for your prayers and love...and a little update on the farm. I wish I could pen something eloquent and life~changing, but I just shake my head and think "What?" What could I say that would sum up my heart? Would it be enough to let you know that it is true when Jehovah God said:

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, 

And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. 

When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,

Nor shall the flame scorch you.

For I am the Lord your God, 

The Holy One of Israel, your Savior."

 Isaiah 43:1-3

Real grace is being tried and tested here on the farm, and no doubt we have a long way to go.


Thank you again for your kind comments and prayers~
Kathy

When We're Sawn In Two...

How quickly life changes...just Sunday morning we were reading about the hall of faith in Hebrews 11. Would we be one of those delivered in our faith, or would we be one of those sawn in two? By Sunday afternoon, I joined arms with those sawn in two...

...it's not exactly because of my faith, yet it is the great testing of my faith through tremendous pain and betrayal.

If you could pray for me, I'd be so grateful. I need desperately to know His grace, to hold fast to His truth, to remember and trust that the great God of this universe loves me and has a glorious plan for my life. I want to finish strong for my children and walk this journey in faithfulness.

More On This Journey

 I love flowers (though I score very low on the gardening aptitude scale)... and I've enjoyed two beautiful bouquets and multiple collections of various non-homogenous groupings from my little sweeties since we began this journey of miscarriage. And the journey does continue, though God's hand is so clearly felt and the tears sometimes fall at the strangest times.

Last Monday and Tuesday were physically demanding days, and when I returned for another ultrasound yesterday, the doctor said I still haven't passed the sac, though it is shrinking. I think my doctor is wonderful ... he knows how we feel about children and trusting the Lord...but in his effort to encourage me, he pointed out the high percentages that would indicate that this was not "my" fault, but likely a "bad egg" (due to my age) UGH!

A bad egg???

As I watched yet another swollen momma navigate the weight of her soon-to-be-born baby while I sat in the car alone, I just couldn't place a "bad egg" in God's economy. Meih! I have to choose faith, and I have to move forward.

"For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made...my frame was not hidden from You when I was made in secret...Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them"                       Psalm 139:13-16

 Ready for some farmhouse cuteness??? Everything else just keeps moving forward...

 ...and after seventeen years, I'm on the verge of diaper-less days. Not looking forward to that...

 Thanks again for all your prayers...I have been so encouraged by your comments!

Love, 

Kathy

When Pink Is No Longer Pink, And The Farmhouse Is Quiet...

It was that first mother~cry "no!" and the blood was there, and fear that the baby was not.

The weekend was long, but this morning the ultrasound confirmed what my heart already felt...Little One has been with Jesus for three weeks (unknown to us) and any day I should go through the process of labor and delivery long before we had planned.

We are sad to walk this road and end with empty arms, but I am choosing two thoughts:

* We love and accept children as a gift from God Himself, no matter how counter-cultural that may seem...

* This life is a blessing to our family, for as many weeks as the Lord saw fit to allow

"I will carry you, while your heart beats here.

Long beyond the empty cradle, through the coming years...

I will carry you, all my life.

I will praise the One who's chosen me to carry you. "

                                           ~Angie Smith

Persevero! Dear Momma!

Do you ever struggle with having Bible time each day with the kiddos? Intentions are always good, but I have a hard time being consistent. Picture this: desiring to make our time enjoyable, we chose the front porch for morning devotions. It was cool, quaint, a change of pace...

...after fighting over seating location ("Please just find a seat...they're all the same) and solving the question, "What can I use to color on?", (Does everyone have a magazine??) we open our Bibles.

...the littles are allowed to color to help occupy their hands. Which means that not but a couple verses into our text the inevitable clanging and shuffling of colored pencils begins. Not finding the elusive shade, the 

clattering seems to rise above my voice. 

"Please stop with the pencils!!"

I'm starting to feel a rather large tinge of frustration, but after a deep breath, purpose to continue. This is sweet fellowship with the children...enjoy the moment...be present...

"MOM! Is that cow in Labor?"

(Jenna! You are kidding me, right?)

A quiet resolve to go with the moment, we leapt from the porch with high hopes of watching a birth. Miss momma however, grew tired of nosy neighbors and headed off to the back pasture for a bit of privacy, and thus we missed the action.

We did make it back to Bible time. Eventually.

If You Have Little Ones...

...and you're questioning the wisdom of peer dependence and age segregation, be encouraged to press on! Make choices for your family that promote unity and friendship within your home, then be blessed as you watch it radiate.

Tonight I watched with pleasure as a group of seventeen and eighteen year old young people interacted across ages and generations. They didn't withdraw into sullen secrecy, nor reject those outside their age or developmental group. Instead there was laughter, conversation, games...attention and play given to the littles, inclusion for those with special needs, respect and help offered voluntarily.

The farm was alive tonight with wonderful young people. Don't believe the lie that the teen years are to be dreaded...or endured...or avoided. Don't give up on the needs of the season, and don't give in to the pressures of the world. Build into your little ones skills that will make them competent and enjoyable teens, and you will reap a harvest of blessing!

It was just yesterday that she said "Would you just...shut up, mom?"


And I was back some 30 or 40 years reliving the pain of that sort of disrespect, that uncontrolled expression which would result in so much anger and discipline. All of my rebellion was interpreted as a personal affront toward my authority...but it wasn't really him. Behind all the attitude was deep pain, rejection, and the inability to please those who I deeply desired to please. I was a failure in so many ways...

And I felt her pain, and failures, and a brief window into her struggles for success and acceptance...

"God, who is rich in mercy..." poured out His grace in that moment, and there was no anger, only His grace flowing from me to the hurt one standing with me. While I wish that in that moment God Himself would have brought that one lost sheep home, I am trusting that more seeds were sown, more soil was cultivated, perhaps some little breath of life gently moving over the embers of her heart. 

 
Sentencing her to "hard labor" (a.k.a. extra chores) gave time to think and move in the direction of repentance, and so I'll take that, just one small step. As for me, I rejoice in that moment of grace.

A couple weeks ago a dear blogger friend Kyrie, wrote about her favorite bloggers. Among many, she mentioned my childrens blogs and mine. What an honor to know that my life can bless others. But the reason?
Because I'm so imperfect. 

Oh my...it shows??? 

 

I make a genuine effort to be real and transparent, to value relationship and character over the accolades of the world, to pursue the hearts of my children more than my own goals...but I fail all the time. All the time. That imperfection that Kyrie appreciates has been keeping me from posting...the deafening accusation from the wicked one that what I do and who I am  just isn't good enough for the position of wife, momma and keeper of the home. I've been believing the lie that all our imperfections are more than my Savior can handle and there is no way that we'll come out of this as a family bearing the image of YHWY Himself.

"The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands."  Proverbs 14:1

 

And while I do honestly have some tweaking to do on the home front, I want to be that wise woman who builds her house. I'm praying to know grace. To shower it on my husband and children and in my home...to really know grace. 

Thank you for all of your prayers following my shoulder surgery. I'm on the road to recovery!

When Courage Rises...

It happens often that I wonder about our effectiveness with the learning style/approach we have chosen here on the farm. Responsibilities, animal husbandry, genetics, business skills and more seem to count, yet shouldn't we be doing that other subject? What about outside classes? Lessons? Teams? (because I forget who is teaching my children ) and I still fear man...

But tonight the farm is still in the swirling winter white and I have yet again witnessed the extraordinary courage and faith of my children. When faced with the pending death  of yet another goat (they are always more dear than just inventory) a decision was made to act immediately once we watched her final breath escape. There was no one here but us, and Josh courageously performed an emergency c-section on his sweet friend in a heroic attempt to save her kid. Knowing that she was two weeks early, it was a long shot...but worth it. Who wouldn't try to save a life? Or three? Yes, three kids were found inside.

Without turning back, we ran desperately though the snow to bring our little ones to the NICU by the wood stove in hopes of survival. Heat, massage, slinging, and my first mouth-to-mouth resuscitation proved unsuccessful, and in the end, all that remained was another life lesson lingering among all that needed to be cleaned up.

There is much to think on, many questions to ask, and perhaps surprising to some, processing with God on His plans and purposes. And back to all that we learn here on the farm, I wouldn't give these days away to anyone else. I'm here on the farm with my children (with my children is the key, not being on the farm) and that what we are learning is vital and real, and that what we have is immeasurably precious. 

And the courage Joshua had today was the courage of a man...taught by the Lord.

He Giveth, and Giveth, and Giveth Again!

I didn't do it. My mom said "No, Kathy, what are you thinking?" And as the piles of laundry mounted, I thought the charm of the wringer washer might be a little overrated at this point in my life.

And then God, who is rich in mercy, sent us $540 dollars through the generous giving of a beloved family....and I found a beautiful new washing machine for almost the exact amount!!! I thought it would have been fun if I could have found something for the amount the check was written in, but this is wonderfully close, and once again we are living the tender hand of provision from the Lord.  Doing laundry is surprisingly delightful again.

We are almost recovered from Josh's performance of Meet Me In St. Louis at the end of January. This was his first major production, and it was amazing. The 89 person cast and directors were fantastic, as was the set, choreography, and Josh! Some may think I go a bit overboard, but I am one very proud momma!

On the farm, amidst the spilled milk, sticky honey dribbles, and snapping mouse traps, my sweet four year old informs me that she would like a tiny diamond nose-ring and wonders...

"How old will you be when I am 61?"

"Oh dear, I'll be 102...let's not talk about it..."

Enjoy the February sunshine tomorrow, and thank you all for your sweet comments...I love hearing from you!

"...But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord:

I say, "You are my God."

My times are in Your hand;

...Make Your face shine upon Your servant;

Save me for Your mercies' sake.

...Oh, how great is Your goodness,

Which You have laid up for those who fear You

Which you have prepared for those who trust in You.

...Blessed be the LORD,

Oh, love the LORD, all you His saints!

Be of good courage,

And He shall strengthen your heart,

All you who hope in the LORD."

portions of Psalm 31

A Quiet And Peaceable Life

A very practical thing to be thankful for here on the farm...firewood. It is absolutely FREEZING tonight, and I'm so thankful for all the hard work that went into splitting and stacking our "heat" last summer. While I don't have any kiddos that love this particular summer chore, we are all very glad now.

"...that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence."    1Timothy 2:2

There is a certain desperate chaos lurking around every farmhouse corner but my heart is for the beauty of that quiet and peaceable life. I am amazed at how quickly the month of December filled up with all manner of nothingness, but I'm feeling the distinct pull of being purposeful and deliberate with our life.

One of my friends has asked me about schooling the littles, and I just don't push them with heavy preschool/kindergarten curriculum. I can tell them that policemen are our friends...that God has ordained them for our protection...and that pretty much sums up social studies, right? I'm being a bit facetious, but it really doesn't require sitting on a rug in a circle, or at a desk. It's just talking along the way...it's looking for meaningful opportunities such as copying a scripture verse. I dot the letters, my five year old traces over them. She wants to practice her letters. Both she and her four year old sister ask for schoolwork, so we spend time

"with our school"  but there's no pressure to push through a curriculum. We're working on learning our letter sounds, and after having the experience of teaching five children to read (all at different ages) I know she'll learn at the pace that God designed for her. No stress for her, no stress for me.

 Which brings me back to living that quiet and peaceable life. Every mother wonders how we went from this twirling duo, (who knew they'd be doing this same thing down the center of the barn twelve years later???)...

...to this. Life is exciting, busy and our world is getting much larger. So when I feel the rising pressure, I have to reground myself in what is really important...that knowing Jesus as Lord is the most necessary accomplishment in life, that living a quiet and peaceable life centered on Christ is essential, and that the education of our children must not only reflect this, but all too soon, the "growing season" is coming to completion. So we master academics but lose their soul...will our years have been well spent?

Today I got overly frustrated (nicely put) when one middle child had an attitude about area and perimeter. I missed my moment of the gentle art of learning. Instead I traded that for apologies and hugs a bit later, and the truth is, next year at this time we will have mastered it and moved way beyond. It just wasn't worth it.

 A rather long-winded answer to the question, but this little face gives me hope to repair my mistakes quickly and try to stay focused on the present joys of loving all my kiddos, delighting in our lifestyle of learning, and striving to live that quiet and peaceable life.

Farmhouse News...Joys and Sorrows

Thank you everyone for your prayers, sweet comments and suggestions. We made it through whatever illness we had, with only a few coming down with the virus. Jenna had it the worst, but yesterday did not require a nap, and today we received the most thoughtful care-package from our new, dear friends to speed along our recovery.

Sunday also held sorrows for us as we had to put down Joshua's goat after a very aggressive infection took over. We knew she was sick, and I even said "Be prepared...", but we never expected the suddenness with which it happened.The farm is strangely quiet, and though some may not realize why, for us (and especially Joshua), the death of an animal is just plain painful. I remember years ago when we would talk of goats, I couldn't imagine that they actually had "personality". Now that we are officially owners and breeders of goats, there is clearly a uniqueness about each one that is very endearing, coupled with the daily contact, care and milking of the herd. As you can imagine, a bond is formed that only grows over the years.

As the farm momma, I want to say something wise and encouraging, but all I can really think of, is that God cares for the sparrows, and other living things as well. This is sad for us, yet my children are learning important lessons for life that are rooted here on the farm, guided by the tender hand of the Creator of the universe.

Freely We've Been Given...

"Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?"

I have little faith. Growing up was framed with post-depression, "pull-up-your-bootstraps-and-do-it-yourself" mentality with the understanding that if I wanted to "be anything" at all, it was up to me. Fast forward through college, into married life and the constant collision of world views. It isn't that I'm confused about my world view...it is decidedly CHRISTIAN. It's just that I wasn't raised in a George Mueller sort of faith-building lifestyle.


Why little faith? Because today, when I face financial and economic uncertainty, when trials of life threaten to overwhelm, when there are days that I literally look to the heavens and say audibly, "Hello???", I forget I serve a loving and tender God, ever near, ever living to care for His own. So kind and faithful (even when I don't deserve it), that this week my kiddos and I gathered on the floor to give 

THANKS

for an unexpected gift

from a never-before-met new friend

whom we will forever love.

Prayer Needed!

Dear friends,
My daughter Jenna is following the blog of a sweet family ministering in Mexico. They have given their lives to raise up an army of children for Jesus (twelve already!) and recently Jaynee, the momma, miscarried twins. She is currently hospitalized and in need of much prayer. If you're inclined to pray, thank you, and check out their  blog to read more of the ongoing progress.

Blessings to you today,
Kathy

Farmhouse Hugs

"...thus says the LORD, who created you...He who formed you...Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, not shall the flame scorch you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior"  

Isaiah 43

I love this verse. It's a bit well used and familiar, but it encourages me every time I meditate on it. I love that God promises deliverance through the pain and stress and difficulties of life. I see the preposition THROUGH, not AROUND. Isn't that beautiful?

I love that God has brought new friends into my life that genuinely care for me and my family and our needs, not out of compulsion, but out of a heart of love.

Thank you for your prayers...

Kathy

What Do You Do With Twenty Dead Chickens...

...that were grass-fed,  farm fresh, processed and frozen, ready to feed the family? Oh, let me mention that the real issue surrounds the fact that it was recently discovered (today) that as of ten days ago the freezer was unplugged for a "moment" that actually has lasted well, until today? *ugh*

Since I had already been on my "broomstick" earlier, Jenna sweetly came in and suggested that I "be prayed up", which is code for, "This is bad, you're not going to like it..." . So it was handled calmly, with a "meyh" and I decided that if my heavenly Father cares for the sparrows, He'll care for us too. And perhaps, freezers are over-rated.

Just another day on the farm...

Perspective Is On the Way!

More encouragement for the home educating momma who might be feeling overwhelmed and unprepared for the  upcoming year...


APPLIED KNOWLEDGE

"He is not the best student who reads the most books, but he who meditates the most upon them; he shall not learn most of divinity who hears the greatest number of sermons, but he who meditates the most devoutly upon what he does hear; nor shall he be so profound a scholar who takes down ponderous volumes one after the other, as he who, reading little by little, precept upon precept, and line upon line, digests what he learns, and assimilates each sentiment to his heart by meditation."

-- Charles Spurgeon

The Clock Is Ticking!!!

"...that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers (keepers of the home), obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."       Titus 2:4-5

I am not ready for August. Soon I hope to post pictures of summer on the farm, but the immediate crisis is, summer is fast...ending!! Oi! As a home~educating momma, I feel the pressure rising, especially as I evaluate what I have (or have not) accomplished this summer. If we were being honest with eachother, I'd confess that I am not nearly as organized as I long to be, and I suffer from a deplorable inability to make a decision. After all, it has to be right the first time...no mistakes...there's no going back, there's no making up for lost time...

This may resonate with some of you (thank you) as you plan for the fall. While I know that there will be "mistakes" or "regrets" or changing of plans, curriculum, etc., and it's not always bad,  I don't always believe that.  Perhaps I've lost a little time in some areas, but God is good. This verse in Titus is such a blessing to me as I am reminded again as to what is important. At the end of the day, have I been an example to my children? Are the girls desiring to be a wife and mother because of what they see in me? Are the boys placing high value on the biblical definition of what characterizes a Godly young woman?

"She knew how good it would be to stay at home again, to help with the housework and to do the chores and work in the garden..."

Little Town on the Prairie~Laura Ingalls Wilder

OK, dear mothers, persevere! Stay focused on what is good and right and true so that we are not guilty of blaspheming the Word of God.

"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."

Galatians 6:9