It was just yesterday that she said "Would you just...shut up, mom?"


And I was back some 30 or 40 years reliving the pain of that sort of disrespect, that uncontrolled expression which would result in so much anger and discipline. All of my rebellion was interpreted as a personal affront toward my authority...but it wasn't really him. Behind all the attitude was deep pain, rejection, and the inability to please those who I deeply desired to please. I was a failure in so many ways...

And I felt her pain, and failures, and a brief window into her struggles for success and acceptance...

"God, who is rich in mercy..." poured out His grace in that moment, and there was no anger, only His grace flowing from me to the hurt one standing with me. While I wish that in that moment God Himself would have brought that one lost sheep home, I am trusting that more seeds were sown, more soil was cultivated, perhaps some little breath of life gently moving over the embers of her heart. 

 
Sentencing her to "hard labor" (a.k.a. extra chores) gave time to think and move in the direction of repentance, and so I'll take that, just one small step. As for me, I rejoice in that moment of grace.

Recovery Is Possible!

If you have a child on the Autism spectrum, or perhaps with a Developmental Disorder (specified or unspecified), this video may offer help and hope. We've been through every test imaginable, special education for the preschooler, speech therapy, occupational therapy, nutritional supplementation, gluten-free/casein-free diets, biomedical intervention...you name it, we've tried it. 


I cannot point to any one thing over the past twelve years that has been "THE" intervention, but after thousands of dollars, millions of tears, and continual prayer, it's time to get back on the wagon and try to help my daughter. Money is low, resistance is high, but the need for healing is great. If there is ANY recovery possible, (and in so many cases there is recovery) I want to do what I can to help her. Is it Sensory Disorder? Aspergers? Heavy metal toxicity? No answer tonight at this crazy hour, but I've been with a friend for a few hours learning more about chelation...

I'll share more as I learn.


Blessings, friends!

Ponytails

I really didn't know when it would happen. So many developmental steps for the neurotypical child just plain take longer for us. But today, Grace showed interest in, and struggled with...putting her hair in a pony tail! Yes! I am delighting in this step, absolutely thrilled for her and trust that she WILL conquer this task. What a reminder to me to not take anything for granted. Every step is good, every attempt is profitable, and God ultimately will complete His work in her.