What could be more encouraging to a three year old, than the freedom and opportunity to BAKE? There was a day when my goal was to avoid as much as possible, those things or activities that created extra work for me. When the twins were not quite two, my sister asked me if I would EVER let them splash in a mud puddle. If you think that is silly, let me confess (again) that I actually had to make myself allow them to play in the mud. And you know the rest of the story...they had fun, I brought them in and cleaned them up, and eventually God was able to change my heart toward the PURPOSE of parenting.
But it hasn't been quick or easy. More confessions include not letting Jenna play with her Vision Forum doll because I didn't want her hair messed up! Remember, neat and tidy, perfect home, perfect children...
Early training also included not allowing the twins to cross the threshhold into the kitchen. They were so well trained, but YIKES! Can you imagine how much relationship and fellowship I missed because I was so focused on the mechanics of parenting, and not the ministry of parenting?
There is so much regret, but on a positive note, nothing is impossible with God! Though far from perfect, and still wishing I could get on top of an organized life, there is progress. I now look for opportunity to involve my children in as many activities as possible. It is not efficient or expedient, but it is training, it is fellowship, it is equipping them for the future!
We are a family that samples the work of our hands! I know self- control is a virtue and needs to be taught, but there are plenty of opportunuties for that!
In the name of training, I had my four year olds washing floors. Now the concept is great, and I still give opportunity for the three and five year old to wash windows and floors (they love it), but discipling them and coming along beside them is so much the better way...not just instructing and inspecting! How easily we forget that they are relatively new to this big place called earth. Really, they don't even notice that their boots don't match...
...and what about the giant leap of dexterity and success when a button can be buttoned??? They are so young and tender, and I wish I was better prepared emotionally to LOVE my children, not just love my children...to enjoy them being little ones, not trying to make them into minature adults...
But here is living proof, though my mistakes are many, there is laughter and love today, even if Jenna never was allowed to play with her doll...
Humbly exposing my mistakes~
Kathy
21 comments:
I love your new blog look and the header!! Beautiful~
What a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing from your heart~
~Cinnamon
You're so right!! Definitely something to keep in mind for when I'm training my future children (Lord willing!). Thank you so much for sharing, Mrs. Regan! :)
Love & Blessings,
Lindsay
P.S. - I love that picture of the mismatched boots. ;)
Kathy, I think we *all* have mistakes like that in our parenting past! The older I get, the more convinced I become that truly "love *does* cover a multitiude of sins." I think that now I would way rather err on the side of joyful love than harsh discipline. So wish I would have learned that sooner. But thankfully His grace abounds! Yes?
Appreciate your honesty, friend!
~susan
Oh I loved this post and pictures of your beautiful children.
I was in Michigan~we get there at least once or twice a year. Brian's family all live near Chesaning or Owasso. Are you far from there? One day I would love to have a cup of tea!
We are heading to Aldi and to find invitation cards for Hannah's graduation. We should have just ordered them like everyone else but I thought making them would be cheaper. I am kicking myself now~time is short. (May 8th) Just once in awhile a little money is worth your sanity! LOL
Our homeschool group has 16 graduating~fun!
ANyway ~we are not hitting the books until tomorrow. It will be a busy day with homeschool classes and errands.
Talk with you soon~
Carrie
Love your honesty! I love how you called it the ministry of parenting...gives me something to ponder. I need to grow more in this area...thank you. :)
I know what you mean....I sometimes find myself not wanting them to help because it will make a bigger mess. However, my best friend is an inspiration to me and I've learned things from her. She so enjoys the small things. I've tried to let my kids do more with me, even if it causes a bigger mess. You're not alone:) We just wanna be the best mom's we can be....cleaning and cooking...and cleaning:) Sometimes we forget to enjoy life...the wonderful life God has blessed us with. Thank you for reminding me to enjoy the little things in life:)
Blessings In Christ,
Elizabeth
And getting mad over spilled milk...? I used to get upset with accidents, until I realized (I know, I know), guess what? I have accidents too!!!! I spill drinks just like they do! I look back and tell myself how silly I've been. I'm sure I'll look back on today, and notice something else I'm doing or reacting wrongly to, and shake my head.
Life.
It's a learning process for us all.
Maellen
Thank you for sharing this. I am a young mommy, just 26 and pregnant with my fifth and reading from a more seasoned mother is such a blessing. Thank you, I needed this.
jessica
Ministry, not mechanics. Now this is something to really ponder. Thanks for your openness and transparency.
God Bless you through your journey,
Gail
Thanks for sharing your wisdom. I needed to be reminded. =)
~Heidi
Oh I love your new look!!! Your home and porch are so beautiful. I better be careful or I may start to become discontent. I am from the country (New England is where I grew up)and now living in a dry and dusty city. It is where our God has us and He knows best, so really no complaints. I just get the starry eyes now and then and start to remember...
I can't tell you enough how much I enjoy your sweet posts. Thank you! Thank you for the reminder to enjoy the many moments and memories being made and the little people that God has placed into our lives. I too, have at times, wanted a perfect, clean house over an atmosphere that welcomes, oftimes, messes which also happens to come with discoveries!The relationship building is so much more important than a perfect home. Our precious small ones won't be at home forever and it isn't worth striving for perfection, which leasds to inpatience and a host of other "no-no's" anyway! Aproachability and loving,gentleness, kindness, joy, laughter, and delighting should mark our attitudes with the blessings He has loaned to us.
God Bless your family dear friend.
You are doing a fine job!Keep up the great work, it is not in vain!:)
In Christ,
Lydia Hoppman
I loved this post Kathy! You see I have a tendencey to not allow my 3 year old to help when she wants to for fear of a bigger mess and more work to do. Reading your blog today blessed my heart. I think we might have to bake this week-together. :)
Great post, Kath! As you know, the reason I didn't let my kids into the kitchen when they were little because I myself wasn't in the kitchen. HA! And I am not crafty either, so I never had fun crafts to do with the kids. What I DID do was set out playdough or set out paint and let them make/do whatever they wanted no matter the mess. I let them express their creativity with unstructured art time and I'm thankful for that. They still have such imaginations! I did, however, appreciate your reminder about coming alongside the kids instead of expecting them to just get the chore done right the first time. I need to do better at that!
Kathy, great post! I can honestly say I think we have lived the same life LOL
It was so wonderful to meet you in person! I hope to get to know you better, I think we have lots in common!
Just stopping in to say "Hello!". I just found your blog, but am I am looking forward to reading your posts. I also have 8 children, 2 are homeschooled, so I could learn a lot from you.
Have a BLESSED day!!!
Great post, Kathy! I've highlighted this in my Saturday Blogging Bee at Homestead Revival.
http://homesteadrevival.blogspot.com/2010/04/blogging-bee-5.html
Oh dear Kathy! I could write a novel on the mistakes we have made in the raising of our 5 children. And sadly we are reaping what we have sown. A watered down gospel with no talk of repentance has been the biggest mistake. We pray the Lord will redeem our huge mistakes and bring our children to repentance and salvation.
Ah, very true! I feel like I took more time to "train" my older children (when they were little). I'm so behind on life all of the time now, that I have to remind myself to train these little people rather than grab my big people to do everything (for the sake of speed and productivity).
Great post!
HI I wanted to wish you a happy birthday
Happy Birthday to you!! Happy Birthday to you!! Happy Birthday dear sweet friend....Happy Birthday to you~
~Cinnamon
I stumbled upon your blog today and realized that you are MUCH like me. This last post has been me for the past 5 years since having my first child. It took many years for us to have our first child so I have had this terrible fear that something is going to happen to my children. Thus it has been SO hard to let them be children and play in the mud and look for frogs at the pond or be out of my sight for a second. I don't want them to ruin their toys, or get dirty, or help in the kitchen. We just moved to a farm with 53 acres in January. I am slowly starting to let them be children and also let them help me in the kitchen or with cleaning. I really like the phrase "the ministry of parenting". I am going to try and keep that phrase in the forefront of my mind. :)
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