Monday, July 25, 2011

When Pink Is No Longer Pink, And The Farmhouse Is Quiet...

It was that first mother~cry "no!" and the blood was there, and fear that the baby was not.

The weekend was long, but this morning the ultrasound confirmed what my heart already felt...Little One has been with Jesus for three weeks (unknown to us) and any day I should go through the process of labor and delivery long before we had planned.

We are sad to walk this road and end with empty arms, but I am choosing two thoughts:
* We love and accept children as a gift from God Himself, no matter how counter-cultural that may seem...
* This life is a blessing to our family, for as many weeks as the Lord saw fit to allow

"I will carry you, while your heart beats here.
Long beyond the empty cradle, through the coming years...
I will carry you, all my life.
I will praise the One who's chosen me to carry you. "
                                           ~Angie Smith

38 comments:

Katie said...

Praying for you.
Nahum 1:7 The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him.

Rita said...

I've never heard anyone put this in such a sweet way. I'm sorry for your loss. Blessings to you over and over.

Melody said...

{{{hugs}}}

I'm sorry. I know you miss your precious little one already.

I've miscarried before too, and wish the heartache didn't hurt quite so badly.

Shonni said...

I am so very sorry!!! And praying for you and your family.

Joshua said...

Mrs. Regan,
I just heard the news on Josh's blog. I am so sorry for your loss. God has his plans and purposes for everything, but this must be extremely difficult for you and your family to go through. You all are in my thoughts and prayers. Don't forget that God is holding you up during this time.

Psalm 3:3, "But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head."

A Restful Place said...

Prayers going up for you & your family.

Calvary said...

I, too, heard the news on Josh's blog... you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Blessings,
Michaila

Rachel said...

Mrs. Regan, I'm so sorry to hear the news on Josh's blog. Know that our prayers are with you especially and with your family that God would give you a great peace and comfort now!

Love in Christ,
~Miss Rachel~

Unknown said...

{{{{{hugs}}}}} Praying for you..... I've walked that path several times before. So, so sorry.

susanwalkergirl said...

Mrs. Regan,

I am so sorry about your loss. I pray that the Lord will comfort and sustain you and your family. Blessings in Christ...Susan

Mendi... said...

Rejoicing in life... Grieving in loss... Thankfully the Lord knows and allows the reality of both rejoicing and grief and He meets us in both places...

Blessed be the Lord, because He hath heard the voice of my supplications. The Lord is my strength & my shield; my heart trusted in Him, & I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; & with my song I will praise Him. The Lord is their strength, & He is the saving strength of His anointed.
Psalm 28:6~8

I am lifting you in prayer...

OurCrazyFarm said...

Prayers are being lifted up for you tonight sweet lady. God is bottling up everyone of your tears, so let them flow. Our twelve year old son died in February~ I know that God will be your sustainer as He promised to be. Heaven will only be sweeter after this hard trial.

Ruby Jean said...

I LOVE you more than you know...and I truly wish that I was right down the road... : ) I will get the package posted in the mail and look forward to hearing what you think...know that you are being lifted up in Heart Felt prayer...
Blessings to you and yours
In Christ

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry Kathy. I know this pain all to well losing 4 of my own sweet babies. I will be lifting you before the throne of Grace tonight and for many many days to come. Psalm 61:1 Hear my cry, O God; Attend to my prayer. 2 From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

Wendy Smith said...

I am so sorry. My heart is hurting with you and am praying that you are finding that peace that passes all understanding as you let God carry you through this time. sending you a hug.

Elizabeth Joy said...

<3 Lots of love to you guys. Praying for your hearts.

Rachel said...

Dear Mrs. Regan,
I pray for God to just surround you and your dear family with His love and peace.

Lots of love,
Rachel M.

Unknown said...

So very sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers tonight.

warmly,
Tricia

Amanda said...

Dear Kathy,
Prayers are sent your way.

priest's wife - S.T./ Anne Boyd said...

praying for you...

Victorianlady8 said...

Praying for you Dear One and for your family as well. May you stay so near to the heart of God that you hear each beat of it :) Many hugs and much love!

Avers90 said...

I am praying for you and your family.

Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord.
Be strong and don't lose hope.
Wait for the Lord. "

God is with you and your family. Don't lose hope for one day you will be reunited. Seriously praying for your family.

Linda Stubbs said...

Sweet sweet Kathy.........How precious to see so many have been here to love on you and your family. I will treasure our talk the other night. Your joy was contagious on your news.........today I am so sorry for your loss........ one thing that sticks out to me, is your love for our Savior. I love from your blog your testimony of God's sustaining love........you are a precious lady and a precious Momma. I will be praying for you and your children's broken hearts. I know He will be close.......He says He will.
Hugs to you and yours, wish we lived close, me

Unknown said...

Dear friend, my heart goes out to you! The loss seems so great, I'm sure. If it weren't for the hope and promises of Jesus, life would sometimes be too much to bear. I'm so glad you can rejoice in knowing this little one is waiting safely with Jesus to meet you in heaven! Perhaps that thought will see you through this time of sorrow. Praying right now for you!!

Anonymous said...

Kathy,
So, so sorry to hear about your little one. We love you all and are praying for you! Sandy

Farmgirl Cyn said...

Dearest Kathy...Know that I am praying.

Bobbi Jo Nichols said...

Praying that you may be comforted at this very sad time. I am so sorry for your loss.Hugs from across the miles. Bobbi Jo

Linda said...

I am so sorry to hear this news this morning. My heart is sad for you and your family. I am sending you {{Hugs}} and also sending prayers to God for you sweet friend.

Love, Linda

ccc said...

I just came across your comment on Large Family Mothering's site. I just had to come and comment on your blog. I just found out yesterday that my little one which we were hoping would be #12 here on earth, is gone. Instead she(we are thinking it was a girl)has joined her 9 siblings in Heaven. I, too, am awaiting her birth. Much peace to you during this time.
God Bless.

Anonymous said...

So sorry, Mrs. Regan. Praying. Rev. 21:4.

Anonymous said...

Mrs. Regan,
I am SO sorry about your baby. The Lord will surely bless your for your fatih. I will be praying.
Blessings,
~Rebecca

Elizabeth said...

Oh Kathy,

We are so sorry that you won't be able to hold this little one in your arms now--but we are believing with you and your family--that you will be able to hold Little One in heaven. We are praying for you so much...your response is such a wonderful testimony of your amazing faith in our Father....you continue to be such an amazing model of complete dependence upon Jesus. We love each one of you!

Sarah and John and girls

Kyrie said...

Dear Mrs. Regan,

My heart grieves for you and your dear family! I pray for you often as I'm going about my days.

"I waited patiently for the LORD; and He inclined unto me, and heard my cry." Ps. 40:1

He hears our crying. Praise His name!
May He hold you tightly sweet lady!

Love in our Lord,

Soli Deo Gloria!

-Kyrie<><

Anonymous said...

Kathy,

I'm so sorry to hear this. :(

I hope that you can feel the love coming through these keys from all of your friends who are lifting you up this week.

Praise God for His faithful promises for your little one!

Love,
Anna

Marcy said...

So sorry for your loss. Miscarriages are always very sad.

Sherry in MI said...

Just read your blog this morning and I am so very sad for you Kath. Wish I could give you a hug.

Love,
Sher

Farming On Faith said...

Kathy~
Oh I am so sorry! I am praying for your sweet family. My Ashley went through this pain~ she was so far away from me. My heart breaks for you! I know God has chosen to call your sweet baby home and we must trust HIm~ but it is ok to weep and cry! I am weeping with you today!

Peace and Blessings~
Carrie

Jessica said...

I heard from sweet Jenna and my heart hurt so much... you all have been in my prayers and much on my heart. Jesus has you and I know He is with you.

love,
jess